Tuesday, December 8, 2015

The People on Our Televisions

This is just something I wrote for fun. What follows are quick, drive-by glimpses of the people that keep popping up on our TV screens and what impressions they have left on me.
Hillary Clinton:              Do I have to campaign? Can I not just move into the White House now? BTW, I was the Secretary of State for four years and never sent a classified email. Well, none of them were marked as being classified.
President Obama:        I see nothing, I hear noting, I know noting. Please let these 13 months pass quickly. Yes, Hillary, you can have this job now.
Bernie Sanders:            Whoa baby, people are really listening to me! I think this income inequality thing is going to get me somewhere.
Marco Rubio:                Demographics is destiny – so why is Ted Cruz raining on my parade? BTW, I am the son of a bartender and a maid. I am the American dream.
Jeb Bush:                     So what if nobody will vote for me; I have the most money and I’m not really as wimpy as I look. And, BTW, I was the American dream.
Donald Trump:             If it bleeds it leads. And, that is how I poll. Come to think of it, I campaign that way too.
A Trump Supporter:      Duh, isn’t the Donald cool? He talks just like me do.
Jeffrey Lord:                 Can you believe that the media allow me to speak as though I am Donald Trump’s spokesperson? I can say anything I want and people think I am speaking on behalf of the Donald. It’s great for Donald. He can disown anything I say because I am really a nobody. You have to love this whole Donald gig. The media don’t know what ethics are - do they” (Think about it CNN.)
Ted Cruz:                      I’m Cuban-American too. And, I can get the Donald Trump voters. I hope those people really go out and vote. I am the smartest guy in the room. BTW, I will crush Hillary in a head-to-head debate.
Ben Carson:                 I am a brain surgeon and I went to Turkey once in my life. That’s a better resume then a community organizer. Yawn.
Chris Christie:               I was supposed to be the tough guy. When will Donald just go away? I actually fought terrorism and was a red governor in a blue state.
All Other Candidates:   How long should I stay in the race? Have I been in long enough for the nominee to pick me as the veep? Or secretary of state, defense secretary, treasury secretary, attorney general, surgeon general, or maybe the next apprentice? (Will you all just go away, please?)
Anthony Kennedy:        The country is evenly split and the legislators cannot make a new law if they all somehow, miraculously found agreement on something. It’s good to be the king. (Okay, Anthony Kennedy does not show up on our television screens. But the Supreme Court is discussed a lot.)
Vladimir Putin:              The West fears me, my people love me. It’s good to be the Czar. Obama has 13 months, I have as long as I want. Which country should I conquer next? I guess I should do a few more while Obama is still around. Maybe I can cause some world panic to get the price of oil back up again. Maybe I’ll have the Iranians shut down the Strait of Hormuz. I have to get something out of sending my military to Syria.


Okay, fun is over. Go back to work.

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